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These People with Terrible Haircuts Make Us Want to Buy Them a Big Hat.

NOVEMBER 7, 2014

Getting a haircut in the winter can be tricky. Even though you may need a trim, you often don't want to get it all your wooliness cut off for the oncoming tundra. But nothing can excuse these bad hair days. I'd rather have Sweeney Todd (you know, the demon barber) cut my hair that whoever did this to these poor people.

1. This guy was like, "Make my hair exactly how cartoon characters with dreads have them."

This guy was like, "Make my hair exactly how cartoon characters with dreads have them."

2. I mean I guess this is good for when your hair is too long to find your ears to put your headphones in.

I mean I guess this is good for when your hair is too long to find your ears to put your headphones in.

3. This person has a pooping person on his head.

This person has a pooping person on his head.

4. I'd call this a "comb-over" because it literally looks like a he taped a comb to his forehead.

I'd call this a "comb-over" because it literally looks like a he taped a comb to his forehead.

5. The ultimate Chuck Norris joke is this kid's life.

The ultimate Chuck Norris joke is this kid's life.

6. I believe this to be a medieval helmet, not hair.

I believe this to be a medieval helmet, not hair.

7. Watch out there's a bad Burning Man decision on your head!

Watch out there's a bad Burning Man decision on your head!

8. If you could actually play this as a musical instrument I'd be fine with this.

If you could actually play this as a musical instrument I'd be fine with this.

9. Too punk rock for even a standard mo-hawk.

Too punk rock for even a standard mo-hawk.

10. Flock of Seagulls and a tinge of Augustus Gloop from Willy Wonka.

Flock of Seagulls and a tinge of Augustus Gloop from Willy Wonka.

11. This guy is single handily bringing the 90's back from whatever accursed realm we banished it to.

This guy is single handily bringing the 90's back from whatever accursed realm we banished it to.

12. The ultimate rat tail. At this point I'd say just find an actual rat and glue it to your head.

The ultimate rat tail. At this point I'd say just find an actual rat and glue it to your head.

13. Is that...Michael Jackson?

Is that...Michael Jackson?

14. This poor boy is imprisoned by puberty.

This poor boy is imprisoned by puberty.

15. If I saw this on the back of the head of the person in front of me in line for coffee I think I'd have to reenact a Saturday Night Fever song.

If I saw this on the back of the head of the person in front of me in line for coffee I think I'd have to reenact a Saturday Night Fever song.

16. Ever vigilant.

Ever vigilant.

17. This was a dare right? If this wasn't a dare, he's gotta be hiding gills under those flaps of hair. Or something.

This was a dare right? If this wasn't a dare, he's gotta be hiding gills under those flaps of hair. Or something.

18. I would hope this was just the first step to a perfect Klingon costume.

I would hope this was just the first step to a perfect Klingon costume.

19. "Angry Bird" would also be a good way to describe his girlfriend after getting this haircut.

"Angry Bird" would also be a good way to describe his girlfriend after getting this haircut.

20. One day nature shall reclaim this Earth. It starts upon this man's mid-life crisis.

One day nature shall reclaim this Earth. It starts upon this man's mid-life crisis.

Now that I look at them, I feel like a lot of these were conscious decisions and not mere mistakes, which makes this all the weirder. I know we live in a free society, but I think these people have lost their right to answer the barber when he asks what you want.